I envy you. You are so free from the ravages of intelligence.

As my plans for my despotic rules continue to come together I was able to take some time this past week to further study the failings of those who came before me and to avoid thier fatal flaws and miscues. Just a few additions to my list of what to do or not to do in learning from thier mistakes. Why be dumb enough to screw up as they did since it would be so much easier to accpt if I screwed up in an original manner....

- I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's something I want you to know".

- When I employ people as advisers, I will actually consider their advice.

- If I want a child, I will instead go to the pet store and buy a dog. They're easier to teach anyway.

- Despite it's proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.

- I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my legions of terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman food soldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated, and I want my troops to have a more positive mindset.

- No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will never consume any energy field larger than my head.

- I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way, even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render standard-issue energy weapons useless, my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.

- I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I am invincible!" After that line, death is usually instantaneous and gruesome.

- No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.

- If I am engaged in a duel to the death with the hero and I'm fortunate enough to knock the weapon from his hand, I will graciously allow him to retrieve it. This is not from a sense of fair play; rather he will be so startled and confused that I will easily be able to dispatch him before he can defend himself.