A lone predator who stalks by night, leaving a trail of bleached bones and employment vacancies..

How many people did you know growing up with that stood in front of your fourth grade class and said they wanted to be in sales? Probably the same number who wanted to be in the sanitation field or lawyers, unless you grew up in D.C. or the Apple! I was the guy who wanted to be the Pope or an astronaut, so how did I find myself doing this at this point in my life?

It seemed all my adult life my so-called peeps would tell me to go into sales. I couldn't figure out why they would tell me that except I still hung on to a part of my soul, so that nixed being a lawyer. Was it my engaging personality? My unabashed but deserving self-promotion? Lunch appointments with the Queen? Who knows what they saw that I didn't. But the darn thing is once I tripped into this sales gig some years ago I found I was good at it. Problem is, I can't articulate the secret method in words. There's no verbal way to demonstrate how I've achieved this state. As much as I'd like to disclose the mystery to you all it resists all known forms of communication. Except one: I'm too dense at times to understand when people are trying to tell me no! Think the same thing happen with all those women I knew over the years. If any of you are reading this, sorry about that!

So now I'm beginning to branch out on my own! "About time!" all my entourage would say I'm sure. And I would call each and every one of them and ask... if only I could remember all their names. So what do I do? What do I market? I can't tell you right now but you're going to want at least a dozen of them when I decide what it's going to be. That's right, you too can be the proud owner of the quality goes in before the name goes on! Act now and receive as our gift to you because they they come in all colors and one size fits all! Act now! Operators are standing by.