I know my time to rule is soon to arrive. But I think to myself, "Self, what ever happened to all those other Evil Overlords of yesteryear and why aren't they still chillin' at the top?" So I did some research and believe I wont make the same screw up!
- My legions of terror will have helmets with clear Plexiglas visors, not face-concealing ones.
- My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
- My noble sibling whose throne I usurped will be killed as my first act of power, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
- Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
- The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire and guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box.
- I will not gloat over my enemy's predicaments before killing them.
- When the rebel leader challenges me to fight one-on-one and asks "Or are you afraid without your armies to back you up?" my reply will be "No, just sensible."
- When I've captured my adversary and he says "Look, before you kill me will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll shoot him and then say "No."
- After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks during which time the final phase of my will be carried out.
- I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will never be a large red button labeled "Danger: Do Not Push".
... and I'm going to keep thinking about this...
image thanks to Brat-halla, one of my favorite comics!
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